A Day in Dog Court

Setting: My client has been given a ticket for "Barking Dog," a class C misdemeanor and the case has been set for a pre-trial. The client’s neighbor is there at court, as a witness against the accused dog and I appear as defense lawyer.

Song: A Day in Dog Court

Me: Mr. Prosecutor,
I have just this to say,
She hired a doggy-sitter,
Because she was away.

The problem was the sitter,
Arrived a day too late,
The dog was all alone, all night,
and barked 8 hours straight.

She hired a doggy-sitter,
Who promised to take care,
To bring the dog in early,
To keep the quiet, there.

The problem was the sitter,
Arrived a day too late.
The dog was all alone all night,
And barked 8 hours straight.

Neighbor: That dog is so obnoxious!
She barked until I left!

Client: I think that you’re obnoxious!
I’d bark at you myself!

Neighbor: I heard her barking late at night,
I wrote it in a log!

Client: That doesn’t prove a thing, you know,
The noise was not my dog!

Neighbor: I have it all on video,
While climbing on the fence.

Client: She thought you were a burgler,
I’d bark at you myself!

Neighbor: I called to try to get your help.
I couldn’t sleep with all that din.

Client: I wasn’t there, I was away.
My doggy sitter wasn’t in.

Me: Ms. Justice Court Judge,
I have just this to say,
She hired a doggy-sitter,
Because she was away,

The problem was the sitter,
Arrived a day too late,
The dog was all alone, all night,
and barked 8 hours straight.

She hired a doggy-sitter,
Who promised to take care,
To bring the dog in early,
To keep the quiet, there.

The problem was the sitter,
Arrived a day too late.
The dog was all alone all night,
And barked 8 hours straight.

Judge: Lets set it for a trial, then,
And we can hear the facts,
Its certainly important,
Lets all be coming back.

A barking dog, can’t be allowed,
Especially if its really loud.
The court’s adjourned, now go away.
I’ll see you soon, another day.

Inspired by true events.